the best mother's day gift - part 1

i have locked this memory in my heart because i was told to move on. yet, i cry everytime i remember...

 

on january 5th 2007, i gave birth a baby boy.  we named him john cedric, jackjack for short.  he was a bit underweight for his age, just 4lbs for a 39-weeker, and had low blood sugar.  since the hospital did not consider him a "well baby", he was not roomed in with me.  he was hooked up to an IV and was given formula whenever he got hungry.  when i came to, i was told of his situation.  we went to the nursery a couple of times so i can nurse him, but since he was small and nobody really taught me how to, he couldnt really latch on to my breast.  he was able to suck the colostrum, but that's it.  from then on, i pumped my milk and put it in a bottle for him to drink.

we were discharged from the hospital 3 days later; his blood sugar stabilized in time.  we settled on a routine of feedings and diaper changes.   we fed him formula and my pumped breastmilk.  since i wasnt able to nurse him (less stimulation), i was not able to produce much milk, just 3 ounces a day on the average.

thanks to the formula, jackjack gained weight.  in 2 weeks time, he was a 6lb baby.  a month after he was born, he weighed in 8lbs.  we shifted from formula to formula in the quest of finding the perfect one for our baby.  we even tried the one for the lactose-intolerant.  there was nothing wrong with him.  we even brought him for his immunization shots a week before it happened.

on feb 16, 2008, he just pooped 3 times.  he had excellent bowel movement.  he was never constipated.  then, all of a sudden, he only pooped 3 times.  we thought he was just constipated, not drinking enough water.  he felt relieved whenever he burped, so we thought it was just gas.  earlier in the week, he threw up some of the milk he just drank.  we thought he just had too much to drink. 

the next day, i woke up to the sight of my baby sporting a huge tummy.  his tummy had swollen as big as a melon and had veins all over it.    his cries indicated that he was in pain.  i gave him milk when he got hungry but he threw it all up.  when he burped, a yellowish/greenish substance came out of his mouth.  i bought glycerin (a pediatric suppository) in the hope that it was just that, constipation.  when nothing came out, we brought him to his pedia at asian medical center.  one look at him and the pedia said he had to be admitted.  she gave us instructions to proceed immediately to makati med.  she didnt even explain what was going on.  considering the traffic going north (we live in the south) and that it was an emergency, the hubby decided to bring him to medical center - muntinlupa for immediate treatment.  an x-ray showed his swollen intestines.  a pediatric surgeon arrived at 1230am to discuss his case.  there was an obstruction, he was sure, which was the reason why his bowel did not pass.  he wanted to operate on my boy on that basis alone: his experience and the x-ray.  we wanted a second opinion, so we signed a waiver and traveled to delos santos med center in quezon city, where i gave birth. 

it was 430am when we arrived in quezon city.  by then, jackjack's tummy had swollen to 39cm.  he was crying incessantly because he was hungry but threw up everything he drank.  he was hooked up to an IV and we were admitted.  that same morning, his pedia in that hospital took one look at him and came up with a team of doctors to take care of him.  he was not allowed to drink anything.  an x-ray and an ultrasound were done.  a pediatric surgeon and an intensivist (NICU doctor) were summoned.  things looked bleak, as the doctors finally explained to us what was going on.  there was an obstruction.  as to what type, ultrasound revealed no mass or twisting of the intestines.  they said this was normally seen on premature babies who had congenital defects.  he was neither premature and they ruled out congenital disorders.  if it were congenital, his tummy would've swollen in days, if not hours after drinking his first milk intake.  he had to be operated on immediately because every moment was critical.  the swelling of his tummy was only controlled by antibiotics and the pressure was only relieved thru NGT. 

that same night, they took my baby from my arms and wheeled him into the OR.  the hubby was summoned into the OR.  the surgeon showed him jackjack's small intestines, 15cm of which had necrotized and were beyond saving. they diagnosed it as necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC).  the rest were also affected, but they decided against cutting it lest there'd be nothing left.  they had to cut off the 15cm of his ilium (small intestines).  they did an illiostomy, which meant that a portion of his small intestines would be exposed where his poop would be coming out.  it's like a colostomy, only it's a portion of his ilium.  because of this procedure,  he wont be able to absorb 100% of the nutrients.

he was wheeled into NICU post-surgery, where he stayed for 2 weeks. he still was not allowed to drink because they had to rest his digestive tract.  he had numerous insertion attempts on both hands and feet because his veins kept collapsing.  it came to a point that the doctors had to do a jugular vein cut-down to insert an IV for his parenteral nutrition.  there was even a day when they woke me up at 6am, only to find out that he wasn't breathing properly since 3am and that they were trying to resuscitate him.  his right lung was full of fluid and his left lung was not expanding enough to take in air.  he was intubated and was wheeled into the OR for the third time for a CTT procedure to drain his lungs of fluid.

at this point, my breasts have stopped producing milk.  the time away from him, when i couldnt even hold him, plus the stress contributed to it.  about this time, they had to start feeding him breast milk through NGT.  it was a blessing that one of the nursing aides at the hospital was kind enough to donate her milk to us.  i even hired a lactation consultant to get my milk flowing again.  she, then, referred me to some of her patients who were willing to donate their milk while i was re-lactating.

a couple of days later, jackjack was removed from the respirator and his CTT pulled out. by then, the doctors finally allowed me to hold him.  when i cradled him, his features changed.  he looked peaceful and happy.  his doctors commented that this was the first time they saw him like that and he was a fighter.  the moment i held him, my breasts have started lactating again!  i was so happy to be able to hold him after 2 weeks.  i was so happy i was crying.

he spent a couple more days in the NICU but he was gaining strength, thanks to the breastmilk and power of touch.  one monday morning, we were summoned to the ICU.  his intensivist was there, determined to teach me how to breastfeed.  i was determined that he would be feeding only on breast milk.  we were also informed that he was to be released from the NICU that same day.

we were finally discharged that weekend.  our hospital bills, plus the doctors' fee, amounted to almost Php500,000.  my mom handed me a check amounting to a fourth of the bill, saying she was lucky that neither of her children got sick. the money she had saved for our illnesses (if we had any) was spent on paying part of the total cost. 

let me know if i should continue this story for it doesnt end here...