yesterday, jackjack reached up and tried twisting the knobs on the stove - while i was cooking dinner. my back was turned, and he just reached up. obviously, i swatted his hand away from the stove. i dragged him to the corner and told him to "face the wall." he kept running back to me, and i kept bringing him back to the wall. what was supposed to be five-minute time-out became close to 30 minutes. he was crying the entire time and i felt nothing.
NOTHING.
i remember the time when i used to cry because i have to mettle some discipline to my son. i remember my hubby talking to me through the tears - how i wasnt supposed to show jackjack that i cry everytime i had to make him face that wall. i cried because he cried for me. now, i felt nothing as he cried. all i ever thought about is how he should remember not to play with fire.maybe that's it. for me to be able to cope with disciplining him, i have to emotionally shut down. i have to feel nothing so i can focus at the job at hand - teaching right from wrong. but what's wrong with me? i have to feel nothing so i can focus at the job at hand? am i even normal?
how do you discipline your child? how do you cope with it when you want to scream and run away?
photo from flickr.
I think that's completely normal. For real.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started disciplining Leah, I cried too. I felt bad. but then, she did it again, and that pretty much shocked me into realizing I have to be strong or else she will walk all over me.
Now sometimes I feel angry when I'm disciplining her, which I think is a lot worse than feeling nothing. I have to take a moment to calm myself down before I can keep disciplining her. I just want to make sure she learns the lesson, not the emotions from me.
You know, you don't want him playing with fire, for sure.
I think you are a wonderful mom, don't doubt that. Emotions are normal for all of us!
Well, sometimes I scream and run away. If I'm angry enough, it's the best thing for me to do. William responds to being told he has done something bad, the teens, they get stuff taken away and lectures. Sometimes I feel like all I do is yell at my kids. It's not a good feeling. I read something today to take a deep breath every time you hear the word "Mommy." It will keep you centered and give you a mini-break before you have to deal with your kids again. Hope it helps.
ReplyDeletexo Erin
I think it's ok. You have to be firm and unmoving, as well as patient. (not that I'm the expert or anything) Good job keeping an eye on him :)
ReplyDeleteUm, sometimes I do scream and run away. It's so hard for me to discipline my kids. Of course I do it, but it's always stressful.
ReplyDeleteMy kids' meltdowns don't faze me a bit anymore. It comes with experience. It's not like he got hurt by accident and needed comfort; he KNOWS he's not supposed to touch the stove. Bet he won't do it again! Good job mama!
ReplyDeleteI have found that it depends on the "deed".
ReplyDeleteTonight, Scooby refused to take my hand and ran right out into the parking lot. Fortunately, it was closing time and most of the patrons were gone, but it could have been disastrous. We've been over this before. I did not "feel" as I disciplined him for this either. IT was a danger. I really believe that when it's danger, it takes it to a new level, and you don't feel because instinctly you know how important it is.
I think feeling nothing is a gift. It will help you maintain a level headedness. Something with 3 teenage daughters who like to sass, I find myself lacking quite often. I think it was a disconnect in order to teach him. I think it's great.
ReplyDeleteSo normal. Just like anything you deal with frequently, you become immune to it. You haven't shut down ... you're just plain used to it! Gotta teach them right from wrong and how to be safe. Just keep doing what you're doing!
ReplyDeleteOh, yes. I remember those days too, when I felt guilty about disciplining my son. Now I don't think twice about it. I guess it's just part of being a mom. Just remember you're helping them grow into an adult, but teaching them what's right now.
ReplyDeleteI dont have a kid yet, but I do know how frustrating it is to discipline a kid. when you said you felt nothing, i remember Charlotte said the same thing, when she was on the same situation......
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