writer's workshop: a letter from layla grace

by far, this is the most difficult blog entry i have ever written.  the tears that i have shed while writing this proves that i still have not gotten over the past. 

i do not know layla or her family personally. i came across her story thru twitter and have been following her story ever since.  for those who have not heard of her, she is a 2yo little girl who was diagnosed with neuroblastoma.  her website tells of her fight against this disease and is updated regularly by her parents. layla grace passed on the morning of march 9, 2010. 


dear cheri,

i know i'm only 2 years old, but if i had the chance to learn how to talk, i'd tell you...

...that you have to forgive yourself.  forgive yourself that jackjack got sick, that he had to stay in the hospital like me, that he had to undergo surgeries like me when he was just 6 weeks old...that he had to be in pain to get better. you did the things you did because you had to.  you didnt have a choice. you stayed and watched over him.  you remind me of my mommy; she didnt leave my side, either, even if it was killing her inside to watch me slip away. 

...that you have to let go and move on. jackjack has been well for almost two years now. since the reconnection of his intestines, he has been steadily recovering, thanks to you. he's now a very active 2 year old.

...that you're a good mommy. you dont believe that? remember when you had to make a decision on whether to quit your job to stay with him in the hospital or to go to back to work? you said it was a no-brainer, that you would stay at the hospital to take care of jackjack. and you still are doing it. you're a stay-at-home mom (and admits that this is the BEST JOB IN THE WORLD).

when you doubt yourself and wonder if you can survive another day, think of me and my mommy. my mom wrote that she'd give anything for  me to interrupt her, for me to tug at her and ask for cookies, to watch me run and play.

think of me when you're tired and jackjack wants a book read or he wants to play outside. i would've loved to play with him. we're of the same age, you know.  let him do the things he wants to do, the same things i couldnt do because i was too sick. let him run, skip and play. do these things with him that make him happiest, the things i would never be able to do with my mom because i had to go. enjoy every moment with him, because as my mom would tell you, life is too short.  and maybe, you should seriously look into having that family picture taken, just like we did.

i will live through jackjack and all other kids.

peace and love,

layla grace

p.s. please keep praying for my mom, dad and sisters.